Monthly Archives: April 2016
Whether you are a single parent by decision or different circumstances, being a single parent with an infant has particular difficulties entirely not the same as that of single parents with kids that have developed past diapers. I know the distinction extremely well as I have encountered both circumstances.
I was divorced almost 5 years ago when my children were 10, 7, and 4; they are currently 15, 12, and 9 but now I also have a 16-month-old. The baby was the result of an unexpected pregnancy (we used birth control) which I discovered shortly after the year-long relationship I had with her father ended. He did not want a child or to be involved in any way so the relationship remained over and I had my fourth child as a single mom. Having the baby was my choice, but as a single mom was not what I had hoped for. Regardless, I know the reality of being a single mom from the very beginning of my child’s existence, an experience not all single moms have.
Going through a pregnancy, birth, and the first 16 months of my daughter’s life without her father’s involvement is very different from my experience with my other three children. I know all too well what it was like to be able to share those experiences with the person I loved and created a child with, and what it’s like not to. I think most women would agree with me when I say the former is the ideal and also our preference, but we don’t always have that choice.
It’s becoming more and more common for women today to conceive through a sperm donor and raise a child on her own. Most women have a strong desire to have children, and if they haven’t found the right man and aren’t in a relationship, they can still make that happen before their body decides it’s too late. Unfortunately sometimes these women are judged as selfish for not providing their child with a father while indulging their greatest biological desire. Being on the other side of this situation as in raising my daughter without her father by his choice, I support the single-moms-by-choice for their decision to go ahead anyway. After all, they have no guarantee that the child’s father would always be involved even if they did wait for “Mr. Right” to come along before having kids, and who’s to say he can’t come along afterward? The fact is no matter which scenario a single mom is in or why, the responsibility of raising and nurturing a child is mostly on the mother, although the father’s participation is also very important. Being a single mom with a baby has many challenges, and the involvement of the father is a big one.
Often for single moms of babies, the father’s involvement becomes the mother’s responsibility. I’m not saying this is right or even fair, but the reality is that especially when the child is a baby, it takes a lot more effort from the mother to create the best situation possible and provide a positive environment that would encourage a reluctant or distant father to take a positive and active role with a baby. It’s much harder for the father to form a bond with a baby that he’s not actively raising with you on a daily basis, and that only perpetuates the lack of involvement. Just like the rest of mothering, taking on the responsibility and doing what’s best for our children ultimately falls on us. The father will have an influence on our child’s sense of self whether or not he’s involved, and what’s best for our babies is doing what we can to make that a good one.
Over the last two years and through much opposition and resistance I think I have found my answer; the situation it is what it is – and it can always get better. Leaving the door open and with a welcome mat for this to occur is the choice that I have made for my daughter. Maybe nothing will change and her father will remain detached and uninvolved, which is beyond my control, but maybe he will come to realize what a blessing she is and also want to do what’s best for her by providing her with a positive father figure instead of a negative one. Anything’s possible and it all starts with us single moms and the power of thinking and being positive. I choose to make my decisions not based on the worse-case-scenario but on the best possible outcome, which is my daughter having a father that can love and show his love for her as she grows up.
A standout amongst the most imperative parts of the child shower arranging procedure is finding only the right party welcome to commence this exceptional occasion. With such a variety of styles, hues, and plans accessible, you may think that its hard to settle on the ideal welcome. Be that as it may, on the off chance that you keep the identity of the mother to-be at the top of the priority list, you are certain to choose a child shower welcome that she’ll cherish!
Is she a stylish mom who continues to dress in the latest fashion trends even as she progresses in her pregnancy? Perhaps you should consider a trendy, modern “diva” type invitation. These types of invitations depict a fashionable pregnant mom-to-be who looks confident and beautiful. With the right lettering style and text color, you’ll have an invitation just as fabulous as she is! Is she a fun-loving and happy person who likes to laugh? Maybe you’ll choose a whimsical baby shower invitation that reflects her easy-going nature. These invitations usually have cute, cartoon designs of happy storks, babies and other icons that make you smile.
If mom-to-be is a traditional kind of person, then she would probably prefer a traditional baby shower invitation. These invitations depict baby rattles, prams, baby bottles, booties, and other popular images. There are usually lots of these types which you can choose. Some people prefer simple elegance. If the mom-to-be does, consider a baby shower invitation that matches her style. Does she like stripes, dots, shapes or borders? Some of the more elegant invitations may cost a little more, but if it makes here happy, then it’s worth it.
There are so many options available for your shower invitations. Does the mom-to-be like to be unique? If so, she might like die-cut invitations in shapes such as pickles, bottles or babies. Does she like things to coordinate? You can choose invitations that match the color scheme or theme of the baby shower, or even her favorite clothing colors. pink chocolate , blue chocolate are popular modern color choices. Jungle animals, Disney babies, Pooh and Noah’s ark are still popular baby shower themes. If you are having a couples shower, then you can choose a couples themed invitation, with both the mom and dad-to-be depicted on the invitation.
There are several printing styles for you to choose from. Although you can choose any invitation style, it is most common for shower invitations to be flat printed cards. You’ll find the widest selection of cards available in this style. These are the best choice for finding invitations that match the mom-to-be’s style, personality or theme. You can find cards in both pastel colors and with bold, colorful designs. These cards can be die-cut shapes or even contain photos. Today it’s all about mom. What wouldn’t mom like more than to see her photo on her invitation. A cropped photo of the mom-to-be, her ultrasound, here tummy, or of the celebrated couple all make great photo invites. Photo invitations are a great choice for the modern shower.
Along these lines, you’re going to have your first infant and kid is there a great deal of data to ingest! Between your specialists and the web, you likely have exhortation post-it notes spread all around each free corner of your cerebrum, however with regards to bringing infant home, a portion of the best guidance originates from different mothers who have remained in your extremely shoes.
From directing a little review from mothers who have been through the whole first infant experience, I’ve assembled 5 things these mothers wish they would have known before bringing infant home.
So, you’re about to have your first baby and boy is there a lot of information to absorb! Between your doctors and the internet, you probably have advice post-it notes plastered all over every free corner of your brain, but when it comes to bringing baby home, some of the best advice comes from other moms who have stood in your very shoes.
From conducting a small survey from moms who have been through the entire first baby experience, I’ve put together 5 things these moms wish they would have known before bringing baby home.
1. Prepare for Birth, but Manage Your Expectations
Yes, you can-and should-prepare for the birth of your first baby as much as possible, but leave room for unpredictable variables. I know that feeling “out-of-control” can weaken your resolve, and it’s good to place your trust in your doctors, but trust yourself too. If your perfect birth plan starts to derail a little, do not fret! You don’t have to completely abandon your intentions. Ask for help in staying close to your original goals. Stay focused on your intention, and remember you’ll be bringing baby home and that’s what this is all about.
2. It’s Okay to be Emotional… No, Really!
Once the baby comes, there’s a whole lot that comes with and it will be an emotional time for you-especially during the post-partum phase! This hormonal tsunami, as I like to call it, is completely normal and other moms have been through it, too. You may even get a little nostalgic for your old life pre-baby and this is okay, too! Don’t feel guilty, momma, you’re in good company and it’s all part of the process. After all, this is a significant life change and it’s completely normal to go through an adjustment period-you will get through it!
3. Always Love Yourself; It’ll Make You a Better Mom
Bringing baby home is a momentous life-style change. Guilt over pre-baby nostalgia, those extra pounds, and lack of sleep, will nag at you unless you treat yourself with compassion. Extra grace is required. Make sure that your loved ones understand what you might go through, and ask for compassion and a bit of help adjusting. 85% of new moms experience the “Baby Blues”. So be kind to yourself, get lots of rest, eat right, and get a break from your baby now and then. Do nice things for yourself. You deserve it.
4. Have a Support System Set in Place
More than likely, if you’re like many new moms, you’re going to feel the need to take everything on, make everything perfect, and carry it all on your own shoulders. Being Super Mom seems great and all, but you can get rundown very quickly and that’s no good for baby! Set up a support system for help with housework. Hire a Post-partum Doula if you don’t have family available. See a lactation consultant for advice on Breastfeeding (it can be harder than you might think!). And let people come in and lend a hand in any way they can.
5. Don’t Take “It” Out on Your Spouse
And by “It”… I mean, everything. You might think you “won’t be that mom”, but that’s what every mom thinks and usually later has to come to terms with the fact that they’re being a Mom-zilla. Bringing home baby, especially when it’s your first baby, is going to be a hard adjustment for both of you and it’s important to work as a team. He probably will do some things differently from you and that’s okay. Be flexible and let the little things go. Ask yourself, “In the scheme of things is this issue really important?” Keep lines of communication open and always make sure that your husband feels like he is a part of the process, and is being a great dad. It’s really important for him to know that he’s doing his best to be involved. He will look to you for that, so definitely keep that in mind. Remember kindness and compassion.
No matter what happens, always remember that the best possible thing that you can do-even more so than planning everything out perfectly-is stay positive and remember that you’re not alone. Women have been having their first baby since the beginning of time and bringing baby home is just the start of one of life’s most fulfilling adventures!
Everybody realizes that bosom milk is best for infant. Wellbeing experts concur that bosom milk is advantageous for children for six to twelve months and that bosom bolstered infants are less inclined to wind up sick. In any case, did you realize that there are passionate and mental advantages that accompany breastfeeding your infant also?
At birth, infants can only see about 12 inches. This distance is just about the normal distance between and baby and her mother’s face. Nursing mothers have to snuggle their babies up very close to their bodies several times throughout the day.
Experts agree that nursing infants enjoy the warm closeness and security that they receive from their mother; even more so when they feel their mother’s skin against their own. Often times, parents of bottle fed babies may feel it’s easier to multi-task during feeding time and try propping bottles. This is a dangerous habit to get into by the way. Not only is it hazardous because of choking, the baby fails to experience the close bond with his mother. Breastfeeding is more than just a feeding method. It’s a natural source of love and closeness between mother and baby.
Breast fed babies who are comfortable and secure with their mothers tend to fall asleep fast. When she falls asleep during nursing, try to nudge her awake or give her a little tickle so she wakes and can finish nursing or you will be feeding her again in just a short time.
Mothers can most certainly benefit from breastfeeding in that they do not have to wash bottles, mix formula or worry about remembering to take bottles along with them when they leave the house. Another very popular benefit of nursing is that some mom’s find it easier to lose baby weight as nursing burns calories and lactating itself causes the uterus to get back to its pre-baby pregnancy size.
Studies have shown that breastfeeding decreases the risk of developing breast and ovarian cancer, and osteoporosis as well. Other studies have indicated that women who breastfeed their babies may often time have lower blood pressure than mothers who bottle feed. This seems to be related to the amount of oxytocin in the woman’s body.
Anything that mom ingests goes into the baby’s breast milk. With this knowledge comes the responsibility of making sure that mom takes care of her own health. Moms know that the only way she can produce healthy milk for her baby is to use common sense and stay healthy through proper diet and exercise.
New mothers who breastfeed their babies also may get more rest than mothers of bottle fed babies. Mom has to sit down and relax several times throughout the day in order to nurse the baby. Bed time is less stressful as well. There are no bottles to warm in the middle of the night. Mom can just lie down with her baby and sleep while the baby nurses.
Mother’s have enough to consider and deal with while pregnant and after the baby arrives. Breast feeding is an easy choice that benefits the baby and mother for health reasons and very important psychological reasons as well.